Stix ‘n Brix

It’s no secret that children don’t like to move. And why should they? Moving means leaving friends and familiar places for the unknown. For a child, who controls very little of their life as things are, the unknown is very, very scary.

You can help your children become willing, even enthusiastic participants in your move, but it takes preparation and a willingness to give them a little bit of well-defined authority.

Prepare Them
Prepare your children well in advance for the possibility of a move. Talk to them honestly about the reasons why you’re moving. Don’t sugar-coat things. The better they understand your decision, the more secure they’ll feel. Let them know what will be happening and when so that they have time to prepare. Show them their new home area on a map, and point out some of the attractions and benefits to living there, as a child’s eyes would see them. Reassure them that they’ll be encouraged to keep in touch with their old friends by phone and/or online. If return visits will be feasible, discuss if and how frequently they might occur.

Motivate Them
Involve your children in finding a new home, but don’t give them veto power. They must understand that the move is going forward no matter what. You should grant them limited input in things like selecting the décor for their room, but not which neighborhood or home you’ll be moving into.

As moving day approaches, let them help you pack your things. Do this before any of their own things are packed. Helping put your things in boxes will act like a magnet, drawing them to the idea of packing their own belongings.

Reward Them
Make sure that there’s a reward to be enjoyed after the move is complete, but keep it realistic and related to the new home. Perhaps a new bike to explore the neighborhood, or a day canoeing on a river near to the new town. If you’re moving from Florida to New York, a trip to Yellowstone is both too grand and irrelevant to the move.

Finally, keep your promises small, but keep your promises. Your children will be especially sensitive to any disappointments during this period. Better to deliver a pleasant surprise than to fail to fulfill a promise.